even though I don't have kids...

Sometimes I think back to my days of being "Miss Clark," and running around the elementary halls, and making copies, and the yelling, and the reading, and the runny noses, and the giggling and jokes and tears and tests and EVERYTHING and I miss it. 

A lot.

I loved those kids so much. I still think about them. I wonder what they'll be like when they're my age, or when they have kids of their own. And I wonder what they think and feel and know, right now, when they're six or twelve or in between. I wonder if one is still having problems at home, or if one is actually REALLY trying now because he just has so much potential if he would just try. And I wonder how many teachers will throw their hands up in despair at him, or if they will see what I could see in him. 

They poured their hearts out to me in that short school year. Trusted me with their deepest fears. And I helped them the best that I could.

I know I couldn't go back, not now. I could be a really great school teacher, but I don't agree with everything that goes on in public schools. 

Hear me out for a minute.

I feel like there are some utterly fantastic teachers out there. I met some when I was teaching, and when I was in school. 

But the school system itself, I can't let myself agree with.

I was able to get to know my students only because I broke the rules a little bit. I let them get creative, I let them speak their minds, and have disagreements with each other. I wanted them to learn how to discuss and think through things and decide things for themselves. And for that, I think they trusted me more, and learned more. I hope I was a good teacher for them, that some of them will remember something I taught them and it will do them good.

Gahhh, there's a lot I could say about this, but I'm getting off my soap box. Right now.

IN ESSENCE, I think teachers should be more like mentors in guiding children's learning as opposed to facts and worksheets and information. 

I'm glad I don't have to decide what to do yet. I don't, after all, have kids. And maybe some of my opinions will change after I do have some of my own. In fact, they probably will. 

Schooling, schooling, what to do.

What do you think about the schooling system?

I swear all I eat are granola bars.

So sometimes, I go to Walmart and wait at Spencer's cashier line (what the heck are those called anyway? aisles? lanes? whatever) and then we smile at each other like, hey, I know who you are in fact we're dating, and then he gives me my receipt and mouths "I love you" and I blush like an eighth grader at a high school musical cause all them cuties be lookin' at me, but mostly one cutie in fact he's freaking attractive, and anyway I love him.

Also, in case you were wondering (which I know you were), I decided not to teach summer school. I already said I was going to, I know, but I thought about it and prayed about it, and I decided it wasn't the right thing for me to do this summer.

So I'll be looking for a couple other jobs. I'm certainly going to apply at a couple of coffee shops, possibly some retail stores, and maybe some creameries as well. Hoorah for experience! 

Really, though, I'm excited. It will be great to start a new adventure this summer.

What will you be doing this summer?

ps only five more school days left! HECKYEAH!

The Bum and the Clock

Okay, so there have been some weird stories in my first graders' homework. They're all just silly, and they certainly make us smile.  But this one . . . oh man, oh man.

There was an old clock that didn't work. 
The woman who had the clock said, 
"I will throw this old clock out. It doesn't work." 
So she did.

A bum looked at the clock and said, 
"I am a bum. I don't work. 
That clock doesn't work. 
So I will get along well with that clock."

Now the bum is happy. 
He doesn't work and he has a clock that doesn't work.

So we were reading this, and my kids didn't laugh, like I expected them to. They just looked super uncomfortable and wouldn't make eye contact with each other. I had to stop and explain to them that it wasn't talking about an ACTUAL BUM, but that it was another name for a HOBO.

Hahaha. A Bum and a bum. A Bum's bum.

(You can tell it's been a long day.)

the end.

Honestly, people.

TODAY, I . . .

• read "Horton Hatches the Egg" to my kids while they colored and ate cookies (I could do this every day and be so happy. really.)
• went shopping (what? I never do that)
• got my car washed by the cute youth in our ward
• watched phineas & ferb 
• summer job searched on craigslist
• painted my toenails blue

my new clean car and my new summer sandals (blue toes!)

• 
  
• 
  

Oh man, you guys. Some of the things I find on craiglist kill me, honestly. I'm dead, just look at me. My brains are all over the floor.

Like this guy? Honestly. And then another guy, who wants a sexy house cleaner. I mean, come on, people. Get girlfriends or something. Oh yeah, they can't - that's why they're looking on craigslist.

On another note, you should know that my adorable boyfriend Spencer watched Breaking Dawn with me yesterday. I told him he could back out, but he insisted he wanted to spend time with me. Awh. :) (I promise, there was much mockery from both of us. Mostly from Spencer. But seriously, guys. Renesmee?) (Also, whenever I look at "Renesmee" all I see is Smee. Like from peter pan.)

the end.

All except for this.

I'll say it.

Work today sort of sucked.

It was really, REALLY hard.

However.

A little girl (probably second grade, not one of my students) came up to me in the middle of a class transition, tapped my arm, looked up at me and said,

"You look pretty."

with a great big grin.

And I, with frazzled hair and no mascara, said,

"Thank you, (name)."

She smiled some more and started walking away before she whipped around with big eyes and said,

"How do you know my name!"

And I laughed as I informed her that she was wearing a name tag.

And so, I would like to formally thank parents and siblings and primary teachers who teach little kids

to say nice things.

And to smile.

Smiling is nice, too.

And so.

Here are some things that happened to me today.

I realized that my kindergartener often answers questions with blah-blah-something-blah . . . if you have enough money.
People. She's in kindergarten. It kills me that she is worrying about finances. Seriously.

I wrote up an extraordinarily long and detailed note to my substitute for tomorrow (and felt anxiety about it . . . I shouldn't be worried, but I've grown attached to these kids, and thinking of leaving them in someone else's hands? Hm).

I made my bed.

My hand swelled up randomly while I was practicing the harp. Auditions tomorrow . . . nbd.

I cried on the way home from work while listening to The Book Thief (READ IT).

I cried while I watched two hours of Little House on the Prairie (Adam got his sight back! And he thinks Mary is beautiful! And he got into Law School! YEAH!)

I DID NOT eat any sweets. Heck yeah.
(I really wanted to. I'm saving the other Snickers that Spencer got for me for tomorrow, after my audition.) :D

The end.

The answer, my friend, is blowin' in the wind

So . . . I basically love my job.
Not that it isn't really, really hard.
But my goodness, these kids are fantastic.
They're super stars! All of them are so special. :)

On Monday and Tuesday, I had two amazing teachers come in to help me. They are truly spectacular. And intimidating. But spectacularly special. :) They helped me out a lot, and freaked me out a lot with all the things I have to do.

But today, I went the day by myself. I did it all by myself! (Well, mostly. The kids helped me out A LOT.) And I felt like I did so much better, with the help of those to fabulous ladies and my kids (I think I felt less nervous and made less mistakes when I was by myself, honestly).

(And they're artists. :) I have the best students ever.)

So we're getting ready to start the upper-grade math class (who ever thought I'd end up teaching math? I always thought math teachers were evil. Hmmm . . . ) and one of my students says, "How come you're so pretty and you're not married?"

I know! It was the sweetest thing of my life! And of course I had to let them know that I'm going on a date Saturday . . . (Of course a chorus of "oooohhh!"'s followed) 

About that.
Let's call him Bil.
(can you guess the acronym? Betcha can't!)

Ever been on a blind date? Cause I sure haven't. He called me yesterday and left me a message that said something about how much he enjoyed my answering machine. :) Funny, my friend (let's call him Elder) (who I'm going out with next Tuesday) said he quite enjoyed it, too.

Ah. I must be cute.
How fantastic.

Are you sick of my boys with interesting pseudonames? I hope not, because here's one more.

The beautiful man I'll name Mr. O'Reilly.
Aye, Mr. O'Reilly.
Don't worry, I did a ring check two days ago.
I'm going to double check tomorrow.
(Sure hope he's not engaged or anything, cause golly gee.)

That's all for now.
loves&hugs,
alyssa kaylee

P.S. Simon & Garfunkel. Peter, Paul and Mary.
Gotta love the classics, man.

Snickerdoodle to you too!

And I, the apron donner,
concoct tasty meals
and smile at young gents,
as they melt over
my snickerdoodle heart
before taking a knee
with a simple ring
and promising
forever and a farm.

Then I say, "no thanks,"
and hand over the cookies.

Forever's a given,
the farm ain't important,
and what sort of good comes
of promises from cookies?


(fine)

I know, not my poetry blog and not my best piece, either.

But you get the point, right?

And guess what?

I got the job!

I'm an instructor at APA!!

I'm so flippin excited, I can't even tell you. 

loves&hugs,

alyssakaylee

We're all just a bunch of kids.

This morning at APA was fantastic!
I ended up teaching the whole reading lesson, and you know?
I did a pretty dang great job. :)

I have an observation tomorrow by the head honchos, and then I'll be going from a visitor to an instructor in no time.

(Sorry about the awful blurriness of this photo. Camera phones, y'know?)

I love those kids. I'm sad that I'll have to have a new group of students, but I know I'll come to love them just as much. They're absolutely darling.

 I promise I'll get my camera back soon. Life is a sad, dreary thing without it.

And guess what?
Six hours. Of church.
It's cause I'm extra righteous. (ha)
But really, it's because I'm ward hopping.
I went to my home ward, ate a hot pocket (it was fast Sunday. I know. I just always forget! I'll fast next Sunday, promise!!) and rushed off to single's ward.
(Mom is definitely forcing me to go, but maybe it's not such a bad thing?)
I met some new people, including a lovely lady named Jeni B. She totally understands my unwillingness to go to single's ward, but has been there for a year and is loving it!

I think Jeni B. and I will be great friends.

t.t.f.n!


loves&hugs,
alyssa kaylee

Elementary, my dear Watson.

So, my dear reader.
Elementary education.

Sure, I've thought about teaching in the past, but I rode it off, thinking I was going to home-school.

I'm not sure about homeschooling anymore. Sure, I like the idea of it, love it even. But I think . . . I think I'd rather teach my babies about life and morals than of details in mathematics (like I could do that anyway. Ha. Math). Certainly, I could do both, but . . . I'm realizing more and more as I go on that there is more often than not a social lacking that comes with homeschooling. And I don't like that.

I certainly won't put them in public school (I got through it alright, but I could have been so much more successful, you know?), but maybe I can find a happy medium in private or charter schools.

I've been so graciously offered a position as an instructor at American Preparatory Academy (APA). I've been training for the last three days with Mrs. Cohen's second grade reading class. And yesterday, I taught part of the lesson. It was so nerve-wracking!! But as nervous as I was, Mrs. Cohen and the students were so patient and understanding with me. :)

I loved the quiet time when they were writing in their workbooks, and Mrs. Cohen was passing off timed reading with individual students. I was able to walk around and help them with their problems. They are such sweet little kids! And one cute little girl even came up to me as they were cleaning up and said,
"Are you going to be our real teacher someday?"
I smiled and said, "Nope, I'm just going to be an instructor and a substitute."
"Aw man! Cause that would be awesome!"
I was so surprised! It made me so happy. :) Especially because I was so dang nervous!

So I was thinking . . . maybe this is why I stayed home from school in stead of leaving right away. Maybe I had to find out that I love teaching . . . ?

I'm not sure, though. I'm going to pray a lot about it first.

(Lots and lots.)

:)

loves&hugs,
alyssa kaylee

p.s. Christmas.
I know, it's barely November!
But . . . Christmas music! Josh Groban, Michael Bublé, MoTab . . .
I love Christmas.
So much.
It's not even funny.

p.p.s. Little BYU families are SO. FLIPPIN. ADORABLE. Newlyweds-ish, with little babies?! They are so cute! It kills me!